The Little Hands Contemplates the Game of Oval Thronerooms

As the shadows lengthened, the Little Hands sat alone pondering his position in the Game of Oval Throne rooms. To compensate his small hands and other small things he liked to use large words. He was especially fond of word terrific, but the historians didn’t often use word terrific. They did use word terrible that looked similar, but somehow didn’t quite feel the same.

The Little Hands had at first wanted to change his nickname to Great Hands or tremendous hands, but that hadn’t stuck. Well, then he had remembered that there had once been a great leader called the Little Boots. No one had laughed at him to his face. At least they hadn’t lived to tell about it. He had been called with a terrific Latin name. Now what was it? Oh right, his name had been Caligula.

That had been the tremendous past and the Little Hands had promised to take the country back to its past: to make America great again. Not terrific or tremendous. Just great. What great things he remembered from the past. There had been the great society, but that had been the work of the enemy so he couldn’t use it. Some people said that the fifties had been great conservative time, but it didn’t have a great name. Stalin had had the great purge. That was good. He could think of great many people who he didn’t like. Some of them judges. About same time with purges there had been the Great Depression. That was two great things at same time. Not bad at all. And almost right before them the Great War had ended the progressive age. He could do that again. He could even out do it with the tremendous war.

Maybe he could find inspiration with what was going on in other countries. The Turks were experimenting with purging their military, judiciary, and the education system. The Russians were killing journalists, who didn’t hold to the party line. Little Hands could use Guantanamo Bay for that. He was sure that the nice Russian president would give a hand with getting things going.

The English were in the middle of Brexit. That was bound to go better than the Texit or the Cexit. The former had resulted in the “loser-battle” in the Alamo and the latter had resulted with the burning of the “loser American South”. Just that moment he knew the answer. He would make America Great Britain again. Now, that was going to be YUUGE!