As the shadows lengthened, the
Little Hands sat alone pondering his position in the Game of Oval Throne rooms.
To compensate his small hands and other small things he liked to use large
words. He was especially fond of word terrific, but the historians didn’t often
use word terrific. They did use word terrible that looked similar, but somehow
didn’t quite feel the same.
The Little Hands had at first
wanted to change his nickname to Great Hands or tremendous hands, but that
hadn’t stuck. Well, then he had remembered that there had once been a great
leader called the Little Boots. No one had laughed at him to his face. At least
they hadn’t lived to tell about it. He had been called with a terrific Latin
name. Now what was it? Oh right, his name had been Caligula.
That had been the tremendous past
and the Little Hands had promised to take the country back to its past: to make
America great again. Not terrific or tremendous. Just great. What great things
he remembered from the past. There had been the great society, but that had
been the work of the enemy so he couldn’t use it. Some people said that the
fifties had been great conservative time, but it didn’t have a great name.
Stalin had had the great purge. That was good. He could think of great many
people who he didn’t like. Some of them judges. About same time with purges
there had been the Great Depression. That was two great things at same time.
Not bad at all. And almost right before them the Great War had ended the
progressive age. He could do that again. He could even out do it with the
tremendous war.
Maybe he could find inspiration
with what was going on in other countries. The Turks were experimenting with
purging their military, judiciary, and the education system. The Russians were
killing journalists, who didn’t hold to the party line. Little Hands could use
Guantanamo Bay for that. He was sure that the nice Russian president would give
a hand with getting things going.
The English were in the middle of
Brexit. That was bound to go better than the Texit or the Cexit. The former had
resulted in the “loser-battle” in the Alamo and the latter had resulted with
the burning of the “loser American South”. Just that moment he knew the answer.
He would make America Great Britain again. Now, that was going to be YUUGE!
