Frogs are Jumping Everywhere

Dear Gareth,

      Barf the Frog? You saw him? There? You are talking about the projectile vomiting world champion? The one who can vomit on anything fifty yards away? What is he doing there? Hadn't he taken residence in Moscow just weeks ago?
      I have to tell you that I have noted the presence of frogs here in biblical proportions. It's almost like when Yahweh attacked Osiris and Isis. But I have heard that Isis is engaged in debate with Apollo about the relevance of olive oil in healing. She is so preoccupied that she hasn't noticed the He Who Must Not Be Named taking over her lands. So I don't think they have anything to do with the frogs, which are sprouting like mushroom after a really good soaking.
      Talking about the good soaking. I met Vladimir the Fish a couple of days ago. He told me about a new invention by Narcissus. It's a mirror you can use for sending messages to other mirrors. Narcissus uses it to send messages to himself, but you can select another mirror as well. It's a little tricky as you need to glue the hair of a person the message is intended to your mirror. I mean that it's so easy to get all hairs floating around mixed up. Please send me a strand of yours, and I will send you a mirror with my hair on it already. Make sure the hair is yours so don't just pick up a hair from the floor. Once we both have corresponding mirrors, it will be pretty easy. You write on the mirror with blood, but red lipstick works too. To send a message, you need to pour some hard liqueur on the mirror. Vladimir uses vodka. But he said that single malt whisky works really well too. The tricky part is that you need to collect the alcohol and drink it. The pair of mirrors Vladimir gave me has liquid collectors at the bottom. As a final step, you need to breathe on the mirror after drinking the liqueur. That's when the message goes out.
      With these mirrors, we can avoid the very nice sensors at both sides of Atlantic who will read this message too. Hopefully, they will let it pass. Mirror network is reportedly quite secure. Although Vladimir told me that The Nationalist Surveillance Agency of the Western Roman Empire has launched an attempt to break into it. They are trying to install a trap door at the back of the network. So far their analysts have only manage to fall through the door themselves. So it should still be pretty secure.

Love,

Nimue